oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
