A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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