My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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