Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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