do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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