Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
