How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
