Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
