Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
