You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
