my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
