I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
