the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
