My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
