As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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