dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
