Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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