And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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