I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
