Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
