She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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