i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
