That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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