my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
