I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
