$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
