It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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