You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
