Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
