but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
