you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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