Plan B is the new Plan A
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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