youre lurking in front of me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
