yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
4 words: hood of his car
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
