So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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