bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
