I wanna bring you to show and tell
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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