hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
