real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
