Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
