so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
