I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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