all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
