I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
