Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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