Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
