I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She's the barista slut.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
