You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize