Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
