What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
