Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
