So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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