If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Im part way to drunk.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
