doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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